my soul tried to escape again today. and i said to her;
"please don't fucking go. i kinda need you today. there's no one else who's willing to validate all of these strange thoughts that have been prancing around in my head since the day you left me for some solitude in the astral. i'm sorry it's starting to get pretty messy inside but i'm still trying to figure things out.
like with the intricated, vague words that belong in the notebook of an introvert guy that i met the other day. they're beautiful. he's beautiful. he's everything i ever thought i wanted. but nothing i could actually fucking handle. thoughts of him might have knocked some things out of place in my temple, spilled some acid that i've kept in jars to replace the books on the bookshelf because i burn every single page in an attempt to disconnect myself with the characters in it.
remember that time when i misplaced my senses and i start throwing things in my room until it didn't look like one anymore? well yeah the scenery is pretty much the same in my mind right now except that my OCD wont be able to help me straighten things up right after wrecking them because i cant see the mess in my head. but i can sure fucking feel it. i can feel my chest gets heavier each day with words i should have said and things i shouldn't have done.
look, all i want is for you to stay with me today. so that i have the guts to do something that i've been meaning to do in a long time with her. something that will stop this strong urge to vomit all over my own existence when i'm awake at four in the morning every single day.
you see, all i wanted to do; is to drop an anchor into the depths of her hair, and sleep like a forgotten shipwreck."
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